


DayDream

by JayJFox



Series: Wars of hearts [1]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Post-Canon, Slightly Canon-Divergent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:15:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28152948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayJFox/pseuds/JayJFox
Summary: Jean Moreau remembered the last time he saw Kevin Day at Castle Evermore like it was carved into his memory with a chisel.Everything after that had been a dragged out stretch of darkness.But Jean was safe now. From the Nest. From Riko.He could finally breath again.Except Kevin Day was back in his life, and he'd always had a way of knocking the air out of Jean's lungs.
Relationships: Kevin Day/Jean Moreau
Series: Wars of hearts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2100240
Comments: 7
Kudos: 37





	DayDream

**Author's Note:**

> Tiny bit of angst, Jean's a broken mess of a marshmallow, Jeremy Knox is a human embodiment of the sun, Bisexual Kevin is the best Kevin, what else is new?  
> Slightly canon-divergent version of events, Riko breaks Kevin's hand on page, you've been warned.  
> All canon-typical trigger warnings apply.

Jean Moreau remembered the last time he saw Kevin Day at Castle Evermore like it was carved into his memory with a chisel. 

_Jean knew better than to lose focus on the court, but the fever that had been keeping him hazy for the last two days finally took the best of him. He missed the ball twice. His stomach clenched—he knew what that meant. He knew what Riko would do to him._

_Kevin’s eyes on him burned like embers against his skin. Jean knew what that felt like. Literally. Riko made him hold one in his palm once._

_He was taking a shower after the practice when Riko burst in, dragged him out and threw him against the wall in the locker room. The rest of the team had fled, undoubtedly by Riko’s orders._

_“I wonder what will teach you to be faster than that, Moreau.”_

_“Riko… I’m…” Riko slammed his hand over Jean’s mouth._

_“Sh.Shh. Tell you what. If you’re fast enough,” Riko drew a knife out and pressed it against Jean’s stomach, “I won’t cut you. Seems fair to me.”_

_Fair. Jean didn’t think Riko knew what that word meant._

_The first slit in his abdomen came faster than a lightning strike. Jean moved as fast as he could, but Riko was faster. Always faster. Another cut opened in his biceps, across his chest, at his shoulder._

_“What are you doing?” Kevin’s voice came behind them, solid and calm. Jean had no idea how Kevin managed to keep his icy demeanor around Riko, but then again Riko had never hurt him the way he’d hurt Jean. That didn’t mean he didn’t leave scars on Kevin, inside and out._

_“Go find something to do, Kevin. I’m teaching Jean here that Ravens can’t be slow.”_

_Kevin cleared his throat. “We have a game on Friday. If you gut him, he’s useless.”_

_Riko snapped his head around to look at Kevin. “Does he look to you like he’d learned anything today?”_

_Kevin looked at the floor. It was a trick question. Jean used the moment to pull boxers on. Blood streaked down, mixing with the water drops from the shower, still slick on his body._

_Riko laughed._

_“Alright. I’ll consider you’ve learned something if you show me you know how to take penance for your mistakes.”_

_Jean stepped away until his back hit the lockers. “W-what do you want me to do?”_

_Riko handed the knife to Jean._

_“Riko—” Kevin started._

_“Oh, come on, Kev. Don’t spoil my lessons.”_

_“I don’t und—”_

_Riko shoved Jean hard against the cold metal of the lockers. “Stab your hand. All the way through.”_

_Jean’s heart shuddered in his chest. He instinctively looked at Kevin, but Kevin’s face didn’t show anything. Blank. Just like Riko’s._

_Jean knew they were not the same but it still hurt to look at him like that._

_“I don’t have all night, Jean.” Riko hissed._

_“I… I can’t…”_

_“Do it!” Riko shouted at his face._

_Every cell in Jean’s body screamed against the self-sabotage. He looked at his palm, calculated where the blade would do the least damaged and jammed it in. A choked sob tore off his throat. He pulled the blade out and handed it back to Riko._

_The striker wiped it off in Jean’s chest and leaned closer. “Don’t ever fuck up my practices again.”_

_On the way out, he gestured between Kevin and Jean. “Take that shit back to his room before he faints or something.”_

_When the door shut, Kevin was at Jean’s side in a heartbeat. His hand on his shoulder pushed him down on the floor, and Kevin followed on his knees._

_“Jean,” Kevin murmured. Jean was trembling. Not that he cared. Kevin had seen him a lot worse than that._

_“I’m fine. I’m fine.”_

_Kevin snatched Jean’s shirt off the bench and wrapped it around his hand. “Let’s get you back to your room, okay?”_

_Kevin helped him get into a pair of pants, wrapped his hoodie around him and walked him to his room, both of them shoulder to shoulder._

_Kevin patched him up—it was turning into his profession at this point—and put enough painkillers into his body to numb the horrible throbs in his wounds. Jean was lucky he didn’t cut a vein, Kevin said, but luck had nothing to do with it. Riko had made a hobby of hurting Jean. Of making_ Jean _hurt himself. He knew how to do it with the least damage._

_It was almost midnight._

_“You shouldn’t stand up to him like that, Kev. He’ll hurt you,” Jean whispered in the crook of Kevin’s neck._

_“He won’t. It’s different for me, Jean. I know it’s a terrible thing to say but it is. He won’t hurt me.”_

_“He’s hurt you before.”_

_“Nothing I can’t handle. Don’t worry about me.”_

_“He’s never been this angry, Kev. Not after what ERC said. He won’t stand to be second, you know that... Please don’t—”_

_“I’ll be fine.” Kevin placed a gentle kiss on Jean’s cheekbone, right over his number 3 tattoo._

_Jean wrapped his arm around Kevin’s shoulders and for the first time that night, he let himself cry._

_“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t…”_

_“Shh. Shhh. Quiet.” Kevin held his face between his palms. “This won’t be forever.”_

_“Kiss me.”_

_Kevin’s eyes dropped to Jean’s lips. He hesitated. Jean felt Kevin’s pulse race against his skin. “I shouldn’t be here this late.”_

_“I know. Kiss me, Kev.”_

_Kevin pressed a hand on the back of Jean’s neck and pulled him in. He kissed him gently, slow brush of lips, almost chaste. But their kisses never stayed like that for long. It grew rough and deep and hungry. Kevin’s tongue flicked against Jean’s lips and Jean opened his mouth to let him in._

_Kevin kissed his jaw, moved down his neck, always so, so careful not to leave a mark. Jean moaned Kevin’s name. He was the only thing to keep Jean holding on in this godforsaken place. The only thing that kept him from slitting his wrists and accepting he was nothing and no one and this was all he was ever going to be._

_But with Kevin’s lips leaving warm traces down his neck, his breath hot and sending heat curl in Jean’s stomach, he was something else. He wasn’t Riko’s property. He was Kevin’s, Kevin’s, Kevin’s. And he’d gladly let himself be someone’s as long as that someone was Kevin._

_Jean pushed his good hand into Kevin’s hair and tugged. He crushed their mouths together, his tongue in Kevin’s mouth and his hands moving down Kevin’s chest. Fuck. Everything. Else. He pushed Kevin down and climbed into his lap, letting the moan growing in his throat slip out._

_“Jean…”_

_“I know. I’ll be quiet.” Jean pushed out in a gasp as Kevin’s fingers lingered at the hem on his shirt._

_“Well, isn’t that endearing?” The voice from the doorway froze Jean’s blood._

_Riko stared at them with a smirk that looked like the most terrifying of Jean’s nightmares in the dim light of his room._

_“Don’t you have something better to fuck, Kevin? This is pathetic really.”_

_Kevin was on his feet before Riko finished talking._

_“Riko…”_

_“No. I don’t care, honestly. But that was a little too sappy for a late-night fuck. He doesn’t need warming up, you know.”_

_Jean wanted to sink into the floor at the way Kevin looked at him. Kevin knew what Riko had done to him. Thank God, he’d never witnessed it or Jean would never be able to look at him again._

_“Riko this isn’t—”_

_“If you want to fuck him, then fuck him. But this sentimental crap will not happen. Not in here.”_

_“Okay. Okay,” Kevin held up his hands defensively in the air in front of him. “Nothing’s happening.”_

_“No?”_

_“No. Nothing.”_

_“So you don’t mind if I pass him around to the guys then, do you?” Riko leaned against the door frame._

_Jean used all his willpower to push down the whimper in his throat. He saw shadows behind Riko, outside of his room. His blood turned into slush._

_“You already had your punishment, didn’t you?”_

_“Are you telling me what I should do, Kevin?”_

_Shut up, Kevin, shut up, shut up, shut up!_

_“No. Of course not.”_

_“Good. I think I should take care of poor Jean if he’s such a desperate whore.” Riko’s head snapped around, gesturing at someone behind him._

_Jean couldn’t breathe. He didn’t even see the face of the man who walked into his room. His head swam in a drowning fog. He couldn’t see anything, hear anything. The ‘please’ in his throat was a knee-jerk instinct but he bit his tongue. He would never ever beg Riko Moriyama again._

_Kevin’s voice was like a flicker of light in the all-consuming darkness. He pushed his hand against the man’s chest, stopping him in his tracks._

_“You will not do this to him,” Kevin said, low but solid. He was talking to Riko, his eyes never leaving his face._

_“Oh?”_

_“You already punished him for his sloppy game, this is enough, Riko.”_

_Riko laughed. “I see what those bastards in the ERC said has gotten into your head, Kevin, hasn’t it now?”_

_They said Kevin was better, that he was holding back because of Riko, too scared to outshine his captain. They were right about most of it. They were wrong about Kevin’s reasons, though._

_“This has nothing to do with what they said. They were wrong anyway.”_

_“Yes. Yes, they were.”_

_Riko grabbed Kevin by the neck and pushed him down on his knees. He kicked him in the stomach, forcing the air out of his lungs. Jean pressed his back in the corner of the room, pushing down a sob._

_No. Kevin was right. Riko wasn’t going to hurt him like he hurt Jean. He wasn’t. He wasn’t._

_Riko kneeled down and pressed a hand into Kevin’s throat, cutting his airflow._

_“You will never be better than me, Kevin. You’re a fucking property. You’re nothing. You’ve always been nothing, and always will be. You hear me?”_

_Kevin dug his nails into Riko’s hand, his face flushed with the need for air._

_“You should’ve remembered your place rather than letting those delusions mess with your head. You were a means to an end. Always second best. But you forgot yourself, Kev. And you really shouldn’t have.”_

_Riko rose to his feet, nodded to the man, and pushed his foot against Kevin’s shoulder. Kevin released a breath, his face relieved, the fear wiped out from it._

_And then he followed Riko’s line of gaze to his left hand._

_Jean’s breaths came in and out so fast, he was losing sense of everything around him. The man walked closer to Kevin and stepped on his biceps, holding his left arm down, Riko’s left foot pressed hard against Kevin’s ribcage._

_Kevin broke._

_Jean had never seen Kevin on the edge of a complete meltdown until now._

_“Riko… what are you…” Fear drenched Kevin’s voice._

_Riko squinted his eyes and muttered something that sounded like ‘less than nothing’._

_“Please. Riko, please, please, don’t do this. ” Kevin pushed out on a sob and then Riko’s foot was slamming down on Kevin’s left hand and all Jean could hear were the screams._

_He’d probably hear them for the rest of his life._

_When Riko and his puppet left the room, Kevin lay on his back, staring at the ceiling. His face was wrecked, tears slipping down, but he didn’t make a sound. It was terrifying to see him like this._

_Jean pulled a towel out of his drawer, soaked it in warm water and kneeled down next to Kevin._

_“Don’t touch me.”_

_“Kev…”_

_“Don’t. Touch me.”_

_Kevin pushed himself on his elbows and took the towel off Jean’s hand. He wiped as much of the blood as he could, his hands trembling and jaw clenched. He was so quiet, Jean could hear his own heartbeat._

_“You have to go to_ — _”_

_Kevin huffed a breath. “I’ll… I’ll be…” He choked on his next words._

_It was hardly the first time both of them were crying in the same room, but it was the first Jean had seen of a Kevin that looked dead inside. Like nothing mattered. Not the Ravens. Not Jean. Not even Exy._

_‘You’ll never play again’ thought Jean. And maybe, maybe if he never played again he’d finally be free. He won’t be Riko’s anymore. But Jean knew Riko would keep Kevin to make a point, an example of what happened when one defied Riko Moriyama, the Exy King._

_Kevin had nowhere to go. Jean knew that. Riko would find him anywhere and bring him back and then … Jean’s mind shut down._

_“Come with me,” Kevin said. A fresh resolve flickered in his eyes, pushing through the pain._

_“Come where?”_

_“Anywhere that isn’t here, Jean.”_

_“Kevin…”_

_“I’m not staying.”_

_“Kevin…”_

_“Will you come or not?”_

_“I… Kevin, I… He will… I can’t just…”_

_Kevin pulled a soft shirt out of Jean’s drawer, wrapped it neatly around his wrecked hand and nodded. He pulled Jean in and placed a kiss on his brow._

_At the door, Kevin looked at him again. There was something in his eyes that Jean couldn’t quite read._

_“Kevin…”_

_“It won’t be like that forever.” He pushed a weak smile through the tears._

_Then he was gone._

Jean lay in the hospital bed, staring at the ceiling. He still couldn’t quite believe Neil Josten’s words. Jean Moreau, a semi-free man? Safe from the Nest, safe from Riko Moriyama. It felt like a twisted joke. He almost expected Neil to come back and laugh at his stupidity. 

Kevin had brought Thea to see him. Whatever he wanted to prove to her, he probably had. Her face was frozen in an awful expression at the sight of him. When she’d left his room, warm relief spilled in his chest. It wasn’t that he was jealous—Kevin was never his—but if he could avoid Thea Muldani for the rest of his life, he would. 

A slight knock on the door dragged Jean’s head slowly sideways. Kevin’s gorgeous green eyes stared at him from the doorway.

“Can I?”

“Yes, Kev, why do you keep asking? Just come in.”

Kevin dragged a chair and sat by Jean’s bed. 

“Doctors said you’ll be out of here in a couple more days.”

“I know.”

“Okay.” Kevin brushed his fingertips along Jean’s knuckles. 

“Do you think we’ll ever talk about it?”

It. About that last night in the Nest. About Jean, about Kevin, about Jean AND Kevin. That last one was a bit far-fetched, a juvenile dream. 

“Yes. Someday.”

“Good. Cause I have things I need to say.”

“I know, Jean. We’ll talk.” Then he smiled a crooked, challenging smile, the one he had when he knew a secret. “How do you feel about California?”

“Never been to California, so…”

“Okay, I forgot you needed things spelled out for you word for word,” Kevin sighed. “I talked to Jeremy Knox on our last game.”

Jean huffed a weak laugh. “Just make out already.” Kevin was probably the biggest Jeremy Knox fan out there, it was ridiculous. 

Kevin stared straight into his eyes. “Really? You want me to?” His face was still water.

Jean’s cheeks heated. “Sorry.”

“So, Jeremy wants to take you on the team next year. What do you think?”

“I… What?”

“I know Wymack offered you to stay here, and I know why you said no, Jean, I get it. You and I… it’s… hard. But the Trojans will be good for you.”

“He really said he wanted me on the team?”

“Only if you want it. It’s your choice. I want you to _choose_ , Jean. You deserve to have your own life. Well… as much as that’s possible, considering… you know.”

“Yes.”

“Yes to the Trojans?”

“Yes.”

Jean had survived long enough without Kevin. In Riko Moriyama’s hell. He’d be fine being across the country from Kevin, as long as they were both okay. 

Jean laced his fingers together with Kevin’s and closed his eyes. He felt a featherlight kiss on his forehead before he drifted away, and Kevin’s voice, low and soft like a whisper of summer wind.

“Someday.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jean didn’t expect to see Kevin any time soon, but there he was, standing at his door at the USC dorms. Jeremy held the door open as Jean stared at Kevin from the couch. 

“Kevin!” Jeremy pulled him down into a hug and something turned in Jean’s stomach. “How was your flight?”

“Long. Boring. Why’s everyone so cheery here?” Kevin growled. 

“Always a ray of sunshine, aren’t you?”

Jeremy laughed that ridiculous, bubbly laugh of his, and Kevin’s face visibly softened. 

Kevin finally— _finally_ —looked at Jean. 

“Hey,” Jean managed. 

“I’ll, umm… leave you two to talk. You probably have a lot to catch up on.” Jeremy grabbed his phone off the table, waved it at Kevin and left after Kevin nodded. 

“You look better,” Kevin sank into the couch. 

“Jeremy makes me stay in the sun like a fucking lizard.”

Kevin laughed. “The horror.”

“You didn’t tell me you were coming.”

In fact, Kevin had not said a thing to him after Riko’s death. He’d cried on the line while Jean listened and tried to calm him down, to convince him to not open that second bottle of vodka, to just talk to him. Kevin had drunk himself unconscious that night, and he’d stopped picking up his phone when Jean called. It’s been a whole summer. 

Now, two weeks before the beginning of the season, Kevin was finally here. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t call.”

Kevin bent one knee and wrapped his arms around it. Jean knew it cost him something to say that. Kevin Day did not apologize just like that. 

“It’s okay. I know why you couldn’t.”

“You want to show me around?”

Jean huffed a laugh. “You mean show you the Exy court? Sure.”

Kevin grinned. Jean had never seen those smiles in Evermore. The Foxes had changed Kevin and as much as Jean couldn’t stomach most of them, he knew it was for the better. 

Kevin Day was the truest version of himself Jean had seen for the years he’d known him, and who the hell was Jean to judge the Foxes if they could do that. 

The sun was setting by the time Kevin and Jean reached the court. Practices hadn’t started yet but Jeremy had given the gate password to Jean so we could come here when he needed. Jean had never spent a full summer off a court. He’d lose his mind if he did. 

Kevin stared at the court from behind the plexiglass wall. He always had that look on his face whenever Exy was involved. Obsessed. Lost in the game. Like he’d had a shot of life injected directly into his veins. 

Jean pressed a hand on Kevin’s back. “Wanna play with me?”

“I don’t have the gear.”

“I’ll come up with something. There’s some spare armor; padding and stuff, and you can pick a racquet, no one will know. I’ll give you a shirt. Have a few in my locker.”

Kevin turned to look at him and swallowed. “Okay.”

“Okay.”

A few minutes later Jean stood on the court facing Kevin, trying his best not to think about the way Kevin’s back looked in the locker room as he put the gear on. _God_.

Kevin was holding the racquet in his left hand and it was the most beautiful thing Jean had seen in his entire miserable life. 

“Just a few drills, okay?” Kevin said with a wicked grin. 

By the time Kevin was done with said ‘few drills’ Jean was panting. He’d missed the ball a couple of times _on purpose_ , just because he could, just because Riko was dead and no one would lay a finger on him because he did. 

Kevin laughed the first time he did it. 

Jean leaned against the frame of the court door, watching Kevin try a few shots against the goal. He was switching between his left hand and his right hand, both sending the shots to their target with deadly accuracy. 

When Kevin was done, he walked past Jean mumbling “Why don’t you take a picture?” and headed to the showers. Jean waited. There was no such thing as modesty in Evermore, it wasn’t that. Kevin had seen Jean naked and in the shower more times than he could count, but right now Jean’s mind was a foggy mess and he didn’t trust himself to stay so close to naked Kevin and not do something stupid. Like kissing him. 

Kevin walked out and ran a hand through his wet hair. He gestured toward the showers. “I’ll be on the court.”

Jean cranked the cold water up and stopped thinking altogether. 

He found Kevin on the home bench. At the sight of him, Kevin straddled the bench and turned his full attention on Jean. 

“Okay.” Kevin said. 

“Hm?”

“It’s _someday_ now.”

“Kevin…”

“I’ll start. I don’t want you to apologize to me. It’s all over your face that you’ll try some stupid shit like that. Don’t.”

“Okay. No apologies then. I’m still sorry.”

Kevin rolled his eyes, muttering a barely audible _Jesus fucking Christ_. “It’s not your fault.”

“Isn’t it? If I hadn’t been so—”

“It’s. Not. Your. Fault. He was going to do it with or without you around. I was just too blinded to see it.”

“Okay.”

“Now say what you want to say.”

“I… I mean… Oh, goddamn it, it’s been so long, I can’t… Alright. Fine. Fine. I can… That thing that…” Jean growled in frustration. 

“Jean.” Kevin sat closer and put a hand on Jean’s thigh. Fuck. That didn’t help Jean’s thoughts form a coherent sentence. “You’re tripping. It’s just me.”

Jean leaned forward and pressed his forehead into Kevin’s chest. Kevin tensed under his weight. He used to smell like pine aftershave and some fancy cologne Riko picked for him. Now he smelled like fresh linen. Jean wanted to kiss him so badly it hurt. 

He pushed his fingers into Kevin’s hair, studying his face as the striker melted under his touch. 

“Is there a way for us to…”

Kevin held one hand over Jeans, turning his face into Jean’s palm. “Don’t do this.” Kevin peeled Jean’s hand off his head and kissed his wrist. “You know it can’t be like that. We can’t be like…”

“Because of Thea?”

“Because of a lot of things.”

“Look, Kev, I’ve lived without you almost two years, I can do it again. The last thing I want is to force you into something you don’t want. I just…”

Kevin looked away, his teeth biting into his lower lip. 

“You were the only reason I stayed alive, did you know that?”

A shiver ran through Kevin’s frame. He looked at Jean as if he’d slapped him.

“Don’t say that.”

“Does it bother you so much to hear it?”

“That you thought about dying? Fucking hell, Jean, yes it does!”

“No. Not that. That you mean more to me than I ever did to you.”

Kevin sighed. “This isn’t…”

Kevin rose up and headed to the door. 

“Kevin!” Jean followed. No. Fucking no! There was no one on their heels, no one checking every word they said, every move they made. Kevin couldn’t just wipe out the last three years of their life in Evermore like they meant nothing. Three years of secret protection, and care, and kisses in the dark, midnight French lessons on the staircase, stolen looks and touches and more kisses. 

Jean caught up with Kevin in the locker room and gripped his shoulder to stop him. 

“I can’t do this, Jean.”

“Then don’t.” Kevin huffed an exasperated breath. “Don’t. Kev… Don’t walk away. I understand. I do. You don’t own me anything. My feelings are my problem and you don’t have to—”

Kevin pushed Jean back into the lockers and kissed him into silence. It could’ve been a minute, or an hour, Jean didn’t know. He didn’t register anything around him. Only Kevin. The slow drag of Kevin’s lips, his tongue brushing Jean’s, his palms under Jean’s shirt, mapping out his chest. Jean was a panting mess in Kevin’s hands. 

Kevin spilled small kisses down Jean’s neck, his fingers digging hard into Jean’s hips, pinning him to the lockers. As if Jean was going anywhere. Jean pulled Kevin closer, their bodies flush, warm skin and hard muscle. 

Jean whimpered when Kevin’s tongue flicked his ear and left a wet trail along his jaw. “Kev…”

Kevin cupped Jean’s face, breathless, flushed, _gorgeous_. “You’re wrong. I’m going to say this once and you’re never going to make me say it again. You’re wrong, Jean. You’re not expendable. You were not some fucking consolation prize. You were not a safety net.” Kevin leaned in and kissed him again. Deep, desperate kiss, one that said everything Jean wanted Kevin to say out loud, and it was enough. But Kevin let go and kept talking. 

“I did what I did because I wanted to. Because I wanted… When I left Evermore, I couldn’t move on from the Ravens and everyone thought it was because of Riko. And it was. In a way. It was… you know what it was. But they were wrong, too. It wasn’t just that fucked up thing with him. It was _you_. It has always been you. I left my heart in Evermore. All of it. And it was all fucking yours. It still is. But I can’t do this. So, please don’t make me. Don’t…” 

Kevin pressed his forehead into Jean’s shoulder. “I won’t. Kev… will you look at me?”

Kevin looked up, his eyes swimming in saltwater. 

“You don’t have to do anything, Kev. Just don’t shut me out of your life.”

“I don’t think I ever could. It’s like cutting off a limb and honestly, I’ve had a lifetime worth of broken body parts.”

Jean ran his thumbs down Kevin’s cheeks, wiping the wet trails. “So poetic.” His French accent punched through the words. Kevin loved it, Jean knew that. 

“Don’t make fun of me, smartass.”

“Okay. But you’re gonna have to kiss me again. Two friends kissing each other in random locker rooms. No biggie.”

Kevin laughed wetly. “Fucking idiot.” 

And he kissed Jean again until Jean forgot the world existed. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Oct 17_ **

_Jeremy is driving me insane. Said I played like a Raven. Like it’s an insult._

**Kev**

_It is an insult._

_Kevin!_

**Kev**

_Jean!_

_You can’t be serious rn_

**Kev**

_Stop body checking people like a rabid bear, Jean_

_The Trojans are not the Ravens_

_Grȃce À Dieu_

**Kev**

_I’ll tell Jeremy you said the Trojans are better, he’ll like it_

_Do not!_

  
  


**Oct 20**

_You won’t be pissed if I whack the tiny one with my racquet right?_

**Kev**

_Don’t hurt my striker, asshole_

_Yours?_

**Kev**

_He’s a Fox, so yeah._

_Orange doesn’t look good on you._

**Kev**

_Bullshit. Everything looks good on me._

The last time Jean played against Kevin was in the first match of the Ravens against the Foxes last season. He remembered that game. It’d been brutal. But now Jean wasn’t a Raven. Things were different. 

Jean tensed by the court door, listening to the names being called. He walked to his spot, his blood roaring in his ears. It’d been so long since he faced Kevin in a real game. Kevin stood on his position and smirked. Bastard. 

Trojans believed in fair play. They lived like that. They played like that. The problem with Jean was that he’d played only as a Raven and to the Ravens fair play didn’t mean shit.

Jean tried. Really, really tried. But by half time, his Raven habits kicked in. Neil and Kevin were a deadly pair. They passed instructions between each other in French and even though Jean understood them, he was still losing against them. 

Neil felt Kevin’s moves like he was reading his thoughts, always predicting where Kevin would be, always in the right spot to catch the ball Kevin passed to him. 

They played modified _Raven_ drills, the goddamn hypocrites! The score was 8:4, Foxes’s favor, and Jean was done with this fucking fair play bullshit. 

Neil was running towards the goal. Kevin passed the ball and Neil caught it as if he’d known exactly where it would be without looking. Jean slammed his body into the small striker knocking him back. The second time he used that strategy, Jeremy yelled his head off at him. Jean didn’t care. He had eyes only for Neil and Kevin. 

Jean screwed up their next drill by body checking Kevin just before he passed the ball to Neil, messing up his aim, then twisted around with deadly speed and slammed Neil into the wall. Neil lost balance and slumped to the ground. 

Across the field, Minyard threw his racquet, spewing a string of death threats that reached Jean even through the hubbub. Kevin shoved Jean away from Neil. 

“Fucking asshole!” Kevin’s voice was laced with ice.

Jeremy pulled him out of the court. And just like that, Jean’s first game against Kevin ended in a worse place than Jean hoped for. 

The Trojans lost 10:9. 

After the game, Jean walked aimlessly around the campus. Kevin didn’t pick up his phone, and Jean gave up after the sixth call. 

He returned to the dorm after midnight. The voices coming from inside stopped him with his hand on the doorknob. 

“You can, Jeremy. If anyone can do it, it’s you.” Kevin’s voice sounded wrecked. 

“I know I promised to help, Kev, but he can’t play like that on my team. I won’t let him.”

“I know. I know. He won’t. You said it yourself, he’s been doing great. This was a minor slip back.”

“I thought you being on the court against him might rattle him, but damn, Kev. That was…”

“It shouldn’t rattle him.”

_Well, breaking news, asshole, it does!_

“Did you tell him?” That was Jeremy. 

Jean’s blood froze in his veins. Tell him what?

“No. I don’t want to mess with his head now. I will. Eventually.”

“Okay. It’s probably better. Wait until he stands solidly on his feet.” Jeremy’s voice was so soft, Jean imagined he whispered the words in Kevin’s hair and his heart clenched painfully in his chest.

“I… I want to keep this between us for now. If… if you—”

“Kev…” There was a muffled sound and Jean’s mind played scenes that he didn’t want to see. Ever. Kevin against the wall, Jeremy’s mouth on his, his hands under Kevin’s shirt. No. No. Jean was shaking. Kevin wouldn’t. He couldn’t do this to him. But then again, Kevin made it perfectly clear he didn’t want anything more than stolen kisses and late-night texts. 

“Of course. Of course, I won’t. Trust me. It won’t get out of this room.”

Jean had had enough. He pushed the door open, expecting to find Kevin and Jeremy all over each other. 

Kevin was sitting on the couch, draining a glass of vodka, and Jeremy leaned against the armchair, his hands crossed in front of his chest. 

“Jean.” Jeremy forced a smile. 

Jean already knew Jeremy Knox well enough to read his smiles. They were Jeremy’s personal language. 

“Hey. I… If you want to talk about the game, I will,” Jean said.

“We’ll get to it tomorrow.” Jeremy ran a hand through his hair and pushed himself up. “Right. It’s late. Kev, you can sleep on the couch if you don’t want to go back to the hotel. So umm… good night.” Jeremy flashed another radiant but rather fake smile and shut the door to his bedroom. 

Jean suspected that the only reason Jeremy took him in his dorm, apart from keeping an eye on him, was the privacy. Most dorms had shared bedrooms. How Jeremy had earned this little privilege, Jean had no idea, but he wasn’t complaining. 

“Kev,” Jean made a deep, mocking nod and headed to his own bedroom.

Kevin gulped the content of his glass and followed him. He caught Jean’s shoulders and slammed him against the wall in his room. 

Kevin’s tongue burned with the taste of vodka in Jean’s mouth. Jean reached for Kevin’s shirt, but Kevin gripped both his wrists and pushed them on both sides of his head. His eyes were wildfire. 

“Listen to me,” Kevin started barely breaking the kiss.

Jean desperately chased his lips, but Kevin pulled back. 

“If you _ever_ do this shit again, I’m done.”

“Kevin—”

“I’m done with you, Jean. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” Kevin hauled him into a bruising kiss, hands too rough on his waist, pressing a little too hard. When Kevin broke the kiss, he looked completely out of control. “Get some sleep.”

“You can stay.”

“We’re leaving early.”

Kevin was lying. He must have been. What did he have with Jeremy? It couldn’t be… But Kevin left. And why would he leave if not so that Jeremy wouldn’t find him in Jean’s bed?

Jean’s mind played dozens of scenes, in vivid detail, all of them with too many kisses and too much touching, and none of them involved Jean. Jealousy was a petty feeling. It was toxic. Destructive. It crawled like hot poison in his chest. 

He stared at the ceiling, replaying Raven drills for the rest of the night, hoping it was all just his imagination playing tricks on him. 

**Dec 10**

_Jeremy integrated a drill I showed him into the game_

**Kev**

_He told me. I think he was having an orgasm about it_

_This is not something I want to think about when I look at my captain, Kevin!_

**Kev**

_You live in the same dorm, it’s inevitable_

Kevin making jokes wasn’t something Jean was prepared for. He spun the phone between his index finger and his thumb, staring blankly at the wall.

It had been months. The talks came easy, the late-night calls, the texts Kevin always replied to. It was _easy_. The hard part came after Jean hung up the phone, after Kevin’s voice vanished from his head, late at night, in the dark, when Jean couldn’t sleep and the thought of Kevin’s fingertips along his arms was too much to bear. 

Kevin had visited USC four times since the season started. Four blasts of light in Jean’s life. The last time Kevin slept in his room, in his bed, his head on Jean’s shoulder and his fingers trailing lazy lines up and down Jean’s chest. 

Jeremy pretended he didn’t see anything, including that one time he’d walked in the dorm and found Jean pressing Kevin against the kitchen counter with his hands under his shirt. Objectively, Jean should’ve been worried—Kevin made it perfectly clear that this thing between them was meant to stay a secret and never progress further than making out. Instead, a wave of relief crushed over Jean. Kevin was his, goddamn it! Fuck Jeremy Knox and his easy laughs. Jean _wanted_ Jeremy to see. 

It’d been short-lived comfort. Later that day, Jean had found Kevin leaning against the couch cushions, speaking to Jeremy, low and quiet. It sounded like an apology and Jean wanted to sink into the center of the earth. 

Jealousy wasn’t something Jean wanted to dwell into, but watching Jeremy and Kevin, side by side, he couldn’t stop thinking that maybe Kevin wasn’t as opposed to people knowing about his sexuality. Maybe it was about being with someone with less baggage. Someone who wasn’t Jean. 

Jean pushed all other thoughts out of his head and focused on one. He would see Kevin in less than a week. PSU was hosting this year’s Christmas banquet which meant that:

  1. Jean would get to kiss Kevin. 
  2. Jean would absolutely invite himself in Kevin’s bed and fuck everything else.
  3. Jeremy Knox could go fuck himself if he thought for a second he’d take up any of the little time Jean had with Kevin.



  
  
  
  


**Dec 15**

_Wanna grab a drink before the banquet?_

**Kev**

_Can’t. Picking up Matt and Dan from the airport._

_And then?_

**Kev**

_Then we’re having a short practice. Jeremy wanted to see one. Fuck knows why._

_I can come with him._

**Kev**

_Not a good idea. I don’t trust you and Neil not killing each other._

_Bullshit. We’re over that._

**Kev**

_Should I remind you how many stitches Evermore left him with?_

_Oh, right. You were there._

_It wasn’t my fault!_

**Kev**

_I didn’t say it was._

_But I’d rather not have you of all people slam him into walls again_

_Fine._

**Kev**

_I’ll see you at the banquet_

_Fine._

Jean slammed the phone down on the table, drawing Jeremy’s attention. He was waiting for the coffee machine to stop. It was something like a hobby of his to stare at it as if he was trying to jedi-mind it into brewing the coffee faster.

“Sorry.”

“Kevin?”

Jean shrugged. What did Jeremy fucking care?

“Want to talk about it?”

Talk about what? That Kevin thought it was his fault Wesninski was stupid enough to go to Castle Evermore two years ago? That _Jean_ had wanted to hurt him? That Kevin didn’t want Jean because Jean was ruthless and broken and a total lost cause? That Kevin wanted Jeremy fucking sunshine Knox and felt too guilty to tell Jean about it? Fuck no! He didn’t want to talk about any of it.

“Is there anything going on between you two?”

Fuck. FUUUCK. Jean did not mean to say that. How the fuck did he let those words slip? 

Jeremy looked at him as if Jean had poured cold water over his head. 

“Is that a serious question?”

“I… No. Yes. I don’t know. I just can’t understand…”

Jeremy shook his head. He pulled a second mug out of the cupboard, poured the coffee in and walked over to the couch. His eyebrows furrowed together as he placed the coffee mugs on the table.

“Jean.” Jeremy hesitated for a second. Jean could practically see the scales in his mind weigh his next words. “I won’t pretend to understand what you and Kevin are to each other. But it’s important to Kevin and it’s important to you, so that makes it important to me. Kev and I are friends. I trust him. He trusts me. Why do you think he wanted you on this team?”

“Because we couldn’t play on the same court together, and no one else wanted me.”

Jeremy laughed. “Right. No one else wanted one of the best backliners in Class I. Do you even hear yourself?”

“Some things outweigh skills.”

“Well, that wasn’t the case. Kevin insisted you joined the Trojans because he thought it would help you. And I trust his judgment. I can see now he was right. You’re not the same person who came here in the summer, Jean. I hope you can see that, too.”

Jean took a shaky breath. “I just… I’m sorry.”

“You have a hell of a habit apologizing when it’s not necessary.” Jeremy took a sip of coffee. “And vice versa.”

Jean tipped his head back on the couch. Humiliation aside, he felt lightness in his chest that he hadn’t in a really long time. 

“Talk to him, Jean.”

Jean cocked his head to look at him. “I did.”

“When? Months ago?” Jeremy huffed a laugh. “A lot of things can change in a few months.”

“Not that. That can’t change. And what difference does it make? He’s still involved with Thea. In case you’ve forgotten that.”

Jeremy stood up and patted Jean’s shoulder. “Is he?” There was a tiny sparkle in his eyes. Jeremy Knox had that thing about him—he smiled with his eyes sometimes, he told secrets with them. If only Jean could read them right.

“Talk to him, Jean. _This_ … This is scary. Especially for someone like Kev. You know where he wants to be, and he’s scared he’ll screw it up. He’s scared.”

“What if… What if he still doesn’t…” Jean ran a hand over his face.

“Here’s how I see it. It’s a fifty-fifty chance he’ll say no. But if you don’t ask, it’s a hundred percent. I like your odds.”

“Kev’s right you know. You’re a fucking embodiment of sunshine. It’s infuriating.” 

Jeremy threw his head back and laughed. “Thanks.” Then he was gone. 

**Dec 17**

_Landed in. It’s freezing in here, what are you, polar bears?_

**Kev**

_Oh, stop it. Like you didn’t spend your entire life in WV._

_What can I say, I got too attached to sunshine._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jean was losing his fucking mind. He sat on the Trojans’ assigned table in the banquet hall, watching Kevin dance with his very attractive, very blond teammate, Allison or whatever, and he was plotting on setting the fucking hall on fire.

Kevin was deliberately ignoring him. He’d talked to Jeremy, half of his fucking team, and he absolutely ignored Jean. On purpose. Jean's stomach was a lead ball. 

By midnight, Jean was spectacularly drunk. He made it to the bathroom on sheer luck, leaned against the sink and stared at his face in the mirror. The number 3 on his cheek lit a fire in his chest. 

His phone buzzed in his back pocket. 

**Kev**

_Where are you?_

_Sure u care?_

**Kev**

_Jean_

_Kevin_

**Kev**

_Just tell me where you are_

_Don t worry, no1 will c me close to u_

_Ur fuckin reputation is fine_

**Kev**

_How drunk are you ffs_

_Lil bit_

_Mr vodka in the water botl exy fuckn genius_

**Kev**

_Are you going to make me check the entire fucking place?_

_Dont_

_Some1 might c u wiv me_

_I cant promise i wll keep my hands to myself rn_

**Kev**

_Jean_

_Where the fuck are you?_

The ceiling was spiraling way too fast for Jean to keep up. He leaned his head against the mirror, patting his face with wet hands until his head cleared enough for him to walk straight. 

He stared at his phone for a long moment, Jeremy’s words fresh in his head. He typed the words, deleted them, typed again and pressed send before he could change his mind. 

  
_Are you scared?_

He shouldn’t have sent that. Kevin took five full minutes to reply.

**Kev**

_Yes._

Jean’s heart hammered madly in his chest. He found Kevin leaning against the Foxes’ table, staring at his phone. 

“Hey,” Jean said when he finally reached Kevin. 

He lifted his gaze off the screen. 

“You’re a lousy drinker. What made you think this was a good idea?”

“You drink all the time.”

“Exactly. I’ve built enough tolerance. What’s yours? A whiskey shot to knock you out?”

“I’m fine.”

“Oh. My. God. I’m getting allergic to this phrase.”

“I think I’m gonna go.” Jean couldn’t stand so close to Kevin. Not tonight. Not like that. 

Kevin reached out and pulled him closer before Jean could escape. “Do you want to talk about this?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

Only two of the Foxes were on the table, the obnoxiously chatty backliner and the blond-gorgeous-and-sassy one. Jean didn’t care if they heard. 

“I can’t, Kevin. I can’t! Alright? I can’t talk about this! I can’t have you shut me out again. I can’t hear it. I don’t want to. I know what this is to you and it’s fine but just… don’t make me listen to you say you can’t do this. It’s too much.”

Kevin looked scarily sober. He ran a hand through Jean’s hair and Jean shivered. His breath caught in his throat. 

The Foxes’ backliner made a strangled noise, then almost squealed, while the blonde dragged a slow ‘oh my god’.

Kevin snorted quietly and clasped both hands onto Jean’s face. 

“Kev…”

Kevin pulled him down and kissed him like he’d die if he didn’t. Jean was lost in it. His mind blanked, it was only Kevin, Kevin, _Kevin_. He wrapped his arm around Kevin’s waist and pulled him close. 

Somewhere behind Kevin, a voice chimed. “So many losers will have to pay up tonight, soo many.” Then a laugh and a high-pitched ‘oh my god’. 

Honest to God, the Foxes’ were fucking children. 

Jean shut them out and kept kissing Kevin until Kevin was out of breath, pulling away from him. 

“Kev. Kevin, babe, wanna share with the class?” the noisy backliner said. 

Kevin flicked him off and pressed himself to Jean. “Wanna dance? Don’t pretend you can’t, cause Jeremy already ratted you out about it.”

Jean laughed in Kevin’s hair. “God, he can’t keep his mouth shut, can he?”

“Not at all.”

“You sure? People will see and it will get to—”

“To no one. This concerns no one. Just you and me.”

“Are you saying Thea—”

“Yes.”

“I thought you said…”

“I know what I said. Are we dancing or not?”

“Yes. Yes, we are.” Jean’s heart plummeted somewhere above the clouds. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Twenty minutes later, Jean was dragging Kevin inside his hotel room by the shirt collar with one hand, frantically typing a text to Jeremy to kindly fuck off and sleep somewhere else. Kevin’s tongue drew a wet line down Jean’s neck and he dropped the phone. 

Kevin pushed Jean back until he almost stumbled into the bed, then twisted them around and fell backwards, Jean following on top of him. Jean’s knees dug on both sides of Kevin’s thighs, his hands quickly unbuttoning his shirt and _finally_ touching Kevin’s bare skin. Kevin pushed himself up and peeled Jean’s shirt off, his hands traveling down like they knew the route by heart. Jean moved up for the time of four uneven breaths, enough to discard both their pants, any remaining piece of useless clothing out of their way. 

Jean had dreamt he’d have Kevin like this one day. Only he never actually believed it would happen. They’d gotten each other off at Evermore but it was nothing like this. It’d been fast, desperate, stolen moments drenched in fear of being caught, one eye always in the hallway, at the door, always too careful not to make a sound. 

Now, Jean dragged his fingers down Kevin’s chest, pressed his thumbs into his hips and traced a torturously slow path of kisses from his collarbone to his stomach. He had no idea what he was doing. He could be terrible at this, and he wouldn’t even know. But God.. _God_ , that was _Kevin_. 

Jean looked up meeting Kevin’s burning stare and ran his tongue on the underside of his dick, keeping eye contact. Kevin dropped his head down with an impressive string of curses in French. Jean curled his tongue around Kevin’s head, drawing a loud, totally indecent moan out of him. It shot a jolt of hot pleasure along Jean’s spine. 

“Je-e-ean,” Kevin drawled his name out and pushed himself up on his elbows. He flipped them around, pinning Jean down to the mattress. 

“No,” Kevin murmured against Jean’s lips. 

“No?”

“No, I mean… Not like… Okay, two things. One, you’ve had way too many drinks. You're not doing... _that_ unless you’re sober.” Kevin leaned in and bit at Jean’s neck.

“And two?” Jean’s whole body shivered. 

“And two… I won’t last if you keep going, and I don’t want to fuck up right now.”

Kevin Fucking Day. He couldn’t let go of his stupid need to prove himself even now. Jean bit his lip, considering pushing Kevin on his back and swallowing him whole, just to see him lose his fucking mind. Trembling, moaning mess Kevin. That was a view Jean could have for the rest of his life.

Jean ran his hands down Kevin’s arms, then wrapped them around his waist, pulling his full weight on top of him. 

“This is not the court, Kev. This is not a competition.”

Kevin huffed a breath in Jean’s hair, “I want to… God, I want to kiss you fucking everywhere.” He traced a path of kisses down Jean’s neck, over his scars, on his shoulder, his chest, the pale lines on his stomach. His hands slid along Jean’s thighs, clever fingers ghosting featherlight touches on spots Jean didn’t know could send fire through his veins. 

When Kevin’s tongue got involved, Jean choked on a stifled whimper. Kevin licked a trail down his abs, looked up at the length of Jean’s body and whispered against his skin. “Don’t be quiet.” 

Kevin pressed a kiss on Jean’s tip, his tongue made a small circle around his head and Jean was so far gone, all he registered was Kevin’s mouth on him. He didn’t care about the sounds that came out of his mouth. 

Kevin did, though. Every moan Jean let out made Kevin push his head a little further down, suck a little harder, press his thumbs into Jean’s hips so rough Jean knew it would leave a bruise. 

“Kevin,” he whimpered. “Kev… I can’t… Jesus, I’m gonna… Kevi-i-in.. Fuck!”

Kevin let go of him with a wet sound that almost pushed Jean over the edge. He kissed his way back to Jean’s mouth, bit at his jaw, flicked his tongue against Jean’s ear.

When the banquet started Jean didn’t imagine he’d end the night being a melting, moaning mess under Kevin. Now, he didn’t know how he’d lived without this so long. 

Kevin kicked Jean’s legs apart, digging his knees between them. “Wrap your goddamn thighs around me.” 

Jean complied, watching Kevin’s breaths shudder out of him. His palms traveled from Jean’s knees to his hips, Kevin’s lip between his teeth, biting down a groan. 

Kevin brought them together in his hand, eyes focused on Jean’s, each stroke pushing Jean closer to the edge. Jean had never been so high before. Free to touch, kiss, let out whatever sound Kevin drew out of him without a care. 

“K-kev,” Jean’s back arched, his hands gripped Kevin’s thighs. “God, yes, yes, yes, Kevin…”

Jean came first, an obscenely loud moan ripping off his throat, and Kevin followed a couple of strokes after, choking on Jean’s name. 

The world fuzzed into white noise. Kevin reached to the floor, pulling his shirt and for a single panicked second, Jean thought he’d put his clothes on and leave him. Kevin wiped the mess on Jean’s stomach with it and threw it back, then lay his head against Jean’s chest, right over his heart. His fingers traced slow circles over Jean’s ribs. 

Jean buried his fingers in Kevin’s hair. He fell asleep at the sound of Kevin’s slow breaths. 

The first thing Jean registered when he woke up was the absence of Kevin’s warmth in the bed. He found his phone on the nightstand. Kevin must have moved it. Jean checked the messages. One. Jeremy’s reply from last night.

**Jeremy Knox**

_:) :) :) :) :) Don’t break the bed._

Asshole. 

Nothing from Kevin. Jean was about to dial his number when the door opened. Kevin walked in, wet hair and a soft smile, two cups of coffee in his hands. 

“Hey,” Jean said. Kevin wore one of Jean’s shirts and Jean wanted to drag him in the bed by the collar and make him whine using only his tongue. 

“How’s your head?”

“Perfect. Come here.”

Kevin handed one cup to Jean and sat on the edge. 

“You look nervous,” Jean said, taking a long sip of coffee. Dark roast, black. Fucking perfect Kevin. 

“I’m not nervous.”

“Sure?” What if Kevin wanted this for just last night? Jean bit his lip before he said something stupid. 

Kevin rolled over, took Jean’s cup and put it away. He pinned Jean down by the shoulders, his thighs bracketing around him. 

“Yes.” Kevin leaned in. “I’m sure. I’m sure, Jean.”

Jean pushed up and kissed him. “We’re leaving today.”

“Yeah. Do you want to stay a couple of days?”

“I… Yes.”

“Thank God. Cause I already told Jeremy you’re staying.”

Jean laughed. “Presumtious, are you?”

“Shut up.” Kevin kissed his chin, his Adam’s apple, hands mapping every inch of his body. 

“K-kevin. I think I need a shower.”

“Mhm.” Kevin said between kisses, and moved to sit next to Jean. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Jean said.

“Is there anything you want me to say?” Kevin was staring at his coffee. 

“I know you’re horrible at talking about feelings but—”

“I love you.”

Jean’s heart flipped in his chest. His head buzzed. “I…”

Kevin groaned. He climbed in Jean’s lap, put his cup next to Jean’s, and held his face. “I love you. Is that what you want to hear?”

“It doesn’t matter what I want, Kevin.” Kevin raised an eyebrow and his expression said quite loudly ‘you’re an idiot’.

“Don’t say it just because I want it to—”

“Jean, I swear to God… Shut up. I love you. I’m sorry it took me so long to get here. I was a mess, and I thought I can’t have this and…” Kevin swallowed.

“And Exy?” Jean didn’t mean the derisive note in his voice but it came out anyway.

“You’re going to mock me now? You realize our lives depend on it, right?”

“I know that. What changed your mind then?”

Kevin stroked Jean’s hair at the back of his head. “It was that little shit Josten, you know. Before the finals he said something to me and I’d forgotten about it after but then… Then you came back into my life and what he said made sense again.”

“What was it? What he said.”

“That I had to calculate the cost of my fear, and if it was too much, then I had to fight. He meant Riko and the Ravens at the time but… The cost is too much, Jean. I’m still scared this will blow up in my face, but I won’t lose you again. I won’t run away from this anymore.”

Jean wrapped a hand around Kevin’s neck and kissed him fiercely. “I love you so fucking much.”

He spent the morning wrapped in Kevin’s arms, Kevin’s lips all over him, saying things that Kevin fucking Day wouldn’t ever say. But yet he was. 

And Jean was home. Finally. His heart was home. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
